We interact every single day and it’s a co-creative experience that acts as an external representation of each person’s inner experience. We express and experience our amazing qualities through our positive uplifting interactions, while we experience our wounding and limiting beliefs through interactions that involve an unpleasant emotional response.
When we are triggered by the words of another, it is often a result of an unresolved trauma from a previous encounter of a similar nature, and some of these may track right back to childhood. The hurt (or negative response experienced) from that previous encounter was not fully dealt with or expressed at the time, and sits in our energetic field, so any similar situation that arises triggers a heightened emotional response and reactive behaviour, much like the fight/flight/freeze response. You are detecting a “threat”, invoking an immediate reaction.
Alternatively, we can also be affected by the words of another when we have formulated beliefs (for example, how you should ‘look’, what it looks like to be ‘successful’ etc) based on opinions of family, friends, and societal ideals.
Once wounding has been cleared and our beliefs have been examined, it gives us the freedom to respond to the words of others in a more subjective way, rather than through a conditioned reaction. We are therefore better able to determine if these words from others come from a place of neutrality, or if they are being disrespectful.
When someone is being disrespectful by expressing their judgment, often they are projecting their own wounds and insecurities in order to feel better about themselves. It is an energetic exchange to gain “power”, especially if they feel insecure around another. Often the person is unaware that they are doing it because the behaviour is part of their shadow (denied self). In a way, projecting let’s them off the hook to take responsibility for their own wounding, simply because they just don’t want to go there! But really what they are doing is self-sabotaging their own progression.
In truth, other peoples negative opinions and judgments are never about the person they are directed at, and the person that they are being directed at can choose whether or not to not take them on. However, if there is wounding, it will trigger an emotional response. I always tell people to see it as an opportunity to go within for healing and transformation.
By learning to strengthen your boundaries, you honour your self-respect and are better able to step into your personal power and align with your Soul purpose. But more importantly, honouring both your own and the other persons wounding is a great pathway to compassion and forgiveness.