I am going to be straight up with you. I don’t believe in twin flames. Well, not the common descriptions that are out there. To me, it’s a concept that has seemingly taken on a life of its own without much examination of reason and logic. It has been romanticised to become the “ultimate experience” and has left a lot of people suffering. More so, many messages have a “lack”, “sacrifice”, “struggle” and disempowering undertone. It breaks my heart observing this as this topic has a mass following of people genuinely seeking authentic love and romance. Even I got caught up in this whirlwind for a bit.

Okay, BEFORE you stop reading, hear me out.

Up until not so long ago, I used to believe 100 per cent that I had a twin flame, and trust me, I have done A LOT of research on this topic.

For those of you wondering what the heck a twin flame is, it’s most commonly defined as the other “half” of your soul. The term is also often used synonymously with “soul mate”.

Now, before I go into my explanation, allow me to qualify my reason and logic.

ALL of my life, I have had a yearning to find “the one”. I have been disappointed in all of my romantic relationships because this persistent longing was never satisfied. I did all the research I could get my hands on to explain this infinite void, and often wondered when the f*&k this person was going to “arrive” because I had done so much inner work.

I even dated someone I was hopelessly yet oddly attracted to who triggered me to the depths of my being in every way imaginable. This experience definitely fits the whole “twin flame runner dynamic” that is widely described. Yet, I remembered thinking about how toxic this was. Why would my soul want this experience if it was meant to be “the ultimate relationship experience” as twin flame experiences are so often described?

It wasn’t until I became a master level practitioner of the Akashic Records that I discovered that I had a negative karmic pattern that was creating this experience. I uncovered the energy of “craving” from a relationship breakdown in a previous life, which is how I came to the root of this longing. And once I had this energetically cleared, the longing disappeared.

You see, if you have unresolved negative karma from previous lifetimes, it doesn’t disappear when you transition out of that lifetime. It gets carried forward and remains “active” until you make a different choice to resolve it. In that particular lifetime, when the love of my life chose another person over me, I chose to shut down my heart because of the immense pain of the heartbreak I experienced. And I perpetuated this pattern in this lifetime, going after partners that I liked, but not deeply loved, to protect myself from ever experiencing that pain again. Choosing “safe” partners in this lifetime has led to some pretty surface-level romantic relationships.

Furthermore, the bigger picture is that this whole idea of a twin flame perpetuates lack—believing that you can receive great love only from ONE person. What pressure! What we have to remember is that love is one of the most abundant energies on the planet. Buying into this idea of twin flames in the way that it is most commonly described cuts ourselves off from such abundance, whether romantic or otherwise!

So here’s the thing. Our Souls are infinite and created from an infinite source. Knowing that the universe is abundant, limitless, and creatively diverse, why would it split a Soul? (By the way, if you ‘split’ your Soul, it would no longer exist as an individuated unit, see my post, Soul Purification: What are Soul Facets?). Not only that, what are the chances that two Souls are going to incarnate within about 15 years of each other, and find each other in a population of over seven billion? It’s important to understand that there is an inherent consistency in creation. Coming from a science background, I don’t know of anything in nature that splits into two to then expect both parts to find each other for ‘growth’.

Yes, relationships, especially romantic ones, are very powerful ways to experience ourselves through our own creative expression, and they play a major role in our personal growth. From a spiritual perspective, any relationship is successful when it teaches us more about who we truly are. However, from an egoic perspective, we often remain attached to a relationship beyond the expiry date, after which it becomes incredibly toxic and disempowering. This attachment then leads us AWAY from our divine self-expression.

I know some people have had an instant strong connection with someone. If this has happened to you, it might be because you have known this person closely in previous lifetimes and/or you may have unresolved karma. This person may then be mistaken as your twin flame.

New choices MUST be made to resolve karma, yet, I am constantly seeing people suffer in toxic relationships for years because they think it’s the “twin flame” thing to do. And then making irrational justifications for “having” to stay together. Some even live in this dynamic like a badge of honour! Or the short-term, maybe is this understandable, but for the long-term, um, no. Remember, choice and consequence. Make affirming choices, and you will attract a loving and harmonious partner that matches your energetic signature.

Be mindful and discerning when applying any metaphysical or spiritual concept: you MUST apply reason and logic. There must be some validity—even if it’s intuitively plausible—and none of this pie-in-the-sky B.S.

More and more people are starting to access their upper-dimensional consciousness, which is new territory for humanity. With higher consciousness comes more power and more RESPONSIBILITY! Remember, we live in a quantum universe where energy is exact, which means you have to be very disciplined and discerning about the information you consume.
And besides, even if you do believe this idea of destiny that also underpins many twin flame messages, why worry? The very definition of destiny is that it is going to happen, regardless of what you or others do, right?!?!?

In short, don’t get too caught up in the twin flame hype! I’ve seen so many people repeatedly disappointed who suffer and sabotage every relationship they end up in. It’s just toxic. Enjoy life.

Having said all of that, I have noticed an increasing number of twin flame experts who provide more grounded practical guidance that underpins personal growth through self-empowerment.

Focusing on yourself and your sovereignty is essential to attract a purposeful, fulfilling, and independent relationship.

Love truly begins with yourself.

No matter what your beliefs are about love and romance; what you are really looking for is a Sacred Union. This reframe is a more accurate term of that soul-level connection many are seeking on this path.

Twin Flames – Are we just Romanticising?