When was the last time you listened to someone?
I mean, really LISTENED? Committed 100% of your undivided attention – your entire be-ing – to someone, with no impulse to respond, give advice, fix, or judge, but really be present for that person?
We often “hear” what someone says, but these days, with so much information vying for our attention, we often nod politely and/or perhaps give direct ‘sledgehammer’ responses, because we don’t have time to really ‘be there’ for someone whom is grappling with an everyday, maybe even more serious life dilemma.
But is this a good thing? In the long-term?
We’ve been living in the digital age for quite some time now, and while we are more connected than ever before, emotionally, many feel more disconnected.
When was the last time you sat through a brunch, lunch or dinner catch up and either yourself or the person you were with DID NOT look at the phone? 😳😬
When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes and had an honest, heart-to-heart conversation?
In fact, when was the last time you had a mutually respectful ‘difficult conversation’ to resolve a major issue in-person?
When was the last time you felt heard by another? Not someone who says, “Yeah, yeah, I’m on to it…” Or “I’ll take that on board,” or an insincere, “I feel for you,”…but from someone whom you feel as though you have just received an energetic (or actual!) bear-hug and you walk away knowing that despite your current circumstances, everything is going to be okay?
I remember the days when ‘being witnessed’ was a daily experience…but nowadays…many feel like they are competing (and losing!) with someones smartphone, tablet, or laptop, and are experiencing many unfulfilling surface-level relationships.
Being a witness by holding sacred space is one of the most profound gifts you can give someone (and receive for yourself).
Allowing another to be heard and accepted unconditionally creates the space for them to open up and reveal their true selves. It really is the highest form of connection and intimacy.
And often, many people resolve their own dilemmas because they are held in this sacred space provided by another which allows them to witness themselves, and both people can move on with their days feeling profoundly transformed!
However, the power of this “old-school” interaction seems to be forgotten, firstly, with digital overwhelm, but also, with many using “new age” techniques which can sometimes make things more complicated than it needs to be.
Even in the spiritual and personal development industries…I am starting to see the shadow side of over-analysis (e.g. finding the meaning in everything), spiritual snobbery (i.e. ignore people with “lower vibes” or “problems”), spiritual escapism or bypassing (i.e. excess healing, meditation, journalling, self-help, etc.), instead of just listening.
This is one of the inherit polarities of the expansion of consciousness. While digital technology has gifted us with greater and more rapid connection, and instant access to practically any information we want to seek…the shadow polarity is that if not managed appropriately, we risk creating “monkey brain” and generating LESS “Real” connection to others!!!
(By the way, monkey brain from excess digital consumption is a new phenomena coined as ‘Busy Brain Syndrome’ and being researched by Dr Lucia Kelleher if you want to research it).
And this also applies to the connection with OURSELVES!
Many have forgotten what it feels like to be there and witness ourself…and I am noticing an increasing number of people who have been committed to their personal-mastery for some time, many gifted entrepreneurs, innovators, healers, coaches, and leaders in their own right, start to second-guess themselves because of the bombardment of excess information consumption. I for one have started to set strict boundaries in how I interact online and what social media to keep and release, as well as cultivating quality time with those in my inner circle (and I know many are starting this practice).
Some of the most potent healing and transformation experiences we can give (or have) is to simply be there for someone…offer 100 % unconditional attention to someone – even if just for just two-minutes…Its the quality of this sacred space that is the liquid gold of life.
Or allow yourself to be in the presence of someone holding this space 😉.
Many have forgotten what this vulnerability feels like…and many have become terrified by it instead of seeing it as a juicy human experience of intimacy and connection that it really is AND WHAT WE ARE REALLY SEEKING!