Are you grieving over the death of a loved one or the ending of a relationship, even though it has been years since the ending?
Are you clinging onto a relationship, job/career, or situation, because you don’t think there’s anything better?
Do you define yourself by your relationships and situations (such as your job title or profession)?
The experience of Loss is arguably one of the most dense and challenging we have, and understandably, it’s the experience we most avoid. But what if there is a hidden blessing?
No matter if it’s the physical death of someone, a loss of a dream job opportunity, an end to a friendship, family, or romantic relationship, loss effects us all very deeply, and we need to give it the respect it deserves if we want to create a sense of inner peace and fulfilment in our lives.
What many of us do when faced with loss is some form of numbing. Whether that is to ‘get busy’, downplay the loss event, or other forms of numbing (drinking, binge-eating, over-exercising, etc.), while it might act as a temporary solution, it eventually weaves into the tapestry of the subconscious and leads to decisions and choices that separate you from your Soul’s divine essence.
And this applies not only to ‘big ticket’ loss, but also to more subtle loss.
One of the most effective ways to process loss is through stillness. Just sitting with the experience. Feeling it in your body, and allowing yourself to release any emotions that arise. This might take some time, days, weeks, maybe months, as you shift upon layers of emotions that peel off like an onion when they are ready.
But what could possibly be a gift of Loss?
In the New Age community, “letting go” is one of THE most common recommendations given…but few actually say HOW we do this?
It comes down to understanding the mechanisms of WHY we struggle to let go. It’s attachment, and behind attachment is control.
Attachments of any kind, whether it’s to people, situations, or circumstances we love or we’d rather not have to deal with, ultimately come from fear of loss.
Think about that for a moment. Because when we become habitually programmed to avoid loss, this affects us very subtly, even on a day-to-day basis.
How many times have you not asked someone a question or for a favour because you don’t want to hear a “no”? And if you did, you feel this as some type of tension in your body?
Ultimately, we struggle to let go because we fear that something of ours will be taken away, or fear that we are somehow not whole without that person or situation.
But the truth is, only we can only provide a sense of sovereignty within ourselves, and holding on to any loss is projecting out energetically, “Nothing better is coming along” and we make choices that reflect that.
The ONLY truth is, change is constant…and transitions are a normal part of life!
We are here is experience ourselves fully and unconditionally and our natural order is to live a life of love, abundance, harmony, and inner peace. But to experience this, we have to allow ourselves to experience ALL emotions, because it’s how we experience contrast…otherwise, we can get ourselves stuck and we flatline and numb our experience.
Letting go invites Gratitude. Allow yourself to grieve, be sad, be angry, or whatever you need to process to move the energy, then be grateful for the experience it gave you and move on.
If you find yourself keep clinging…ask yourself, what is it that I am really afraid to lose? Then detach, knowing that something new and more fulfilling is on its way.
In truth, all people and situations that come into our lives do so to help us learn, grow, and come back into ourselves. Embrace that and enjoy the dance of life.
***If you are experiencing heavy emotions as a result of loss that are over-whelming and you are struggling to cope (especially after 3 months), please seek the guidance of a qualified mental health, medical, or energy healing practitioner.