This post is for the ladies… (although still insightful for men)
No, this is not some type of feminism, girl-power or lady-boss post, although I do mention an underlying mechanism of toxic feminism.
This is about a quantum perspective of human evolution of where women have come from, the potential of where women are heading, and their unique challenges to personal growth and mastery.
I heard a quote a few years back, and while it didn’t make sense at the time, I intuitively knew it was possible…
Why women?
Simple. Up until recent decades, women simply haven’t had the same opportunity for divine and authentic self-expression than men.
As the physically weaker species living in more oppressed times, women were more concerned with establishing safety and security through cultivating relationships with others and positioning themselves within their tribes and communities to ensure survival and even to thrive.
While this has been an effective (and necessary!) strategy – many of these unconscious behaviours are HARDWIRED into our psyche – especially when we try to innovate, move society forward or be change agents in any way.
Even within the collective women’s psyche – whenever a woman steps into some type of individual power – it (often subconsciously) is perceived as a “threat” to the rest of the collective – which is why we often witness women lash out at other women who dare to live their truth… women’s worst enemies are often other women!
This projected unowned shadow is what has led to the term, toxic feminism.
It also doesn’t help that there are so many derogatory and gas-lighty constructs that judge women for not fitting in to a certain mould or stereotype that doesn’t seem to apply to men such as:
• Something “wrong” with a 40+ single, never married, childless women.
• “Geriatric pregnancy” for 35+ pregnant women.
• “Slut” if someone is sexually promiscuous.
• “Psycho” if she calls out B.S. and commands healthy boundaries and respect.
• “Too masculine” or even “selfish” if she chooses career and building wealth over starting a family.
• “Too emotional” or “too analytical” when unpacking and trying to understand a disorienting experience.
• Even being a “wild woman” is considered a rebellious streak rather than an innovator or freedom warrior!
• The list goes on! (…and on and on and on!)
This has many women on this constant pursuit (often subconsciously) to try and prove herself – often in ways that go against their soul-level gifts – in order to justify her choices and to seek validation from others… and exhausting themselves doing so!
It’s also why many women experience irrational fear and unexplainable survival response the more they expand consciousness and step further into alignment with their Soul Vibrational Qualities – to their hard-wired survival instincts, it’s a no, no, no NO!
Understanding this distinction is essential because the same ancient patterns that ensured our survival have become roadblocks for many today… and expansion can often feel like a constant GRIND, no matter how much personal and spiritual practice you currently do.
Being “appropriate”, “professional”, “measured”, or even if you are a healer or spiritual teacher trying to meet some type of transcended spiritual-stereotype can mute your innate gifts. Even holding back your charisma, inner-warrior and natural sensuality!
Why?
Because is a form of protection – and essentially disowning a “light quality”.
These days, people are more conscious, and can feel the incongruency within someones overall energy signature (even if they don’t understand it cognitively).
How to resolve?
Ask yourself, where might you be plugging into distorted ideas of how to act and behave as a “woman” as opposed to just being “you”. Or even hiding aspects of you or avoiding certain conversations or communities because it doesn’t match with certain stereotypes?
Where do you feel like you have to explain yourself? (even if someone hasn’t asked for it?)
What does it feel like to just “Be”? (…yikes!)
This is a marathon, not a sprint. We are not going to override thousands of years of conditioning in an instant… but we certainly don’t have to turn it into some type of chore, lessons, or obstacle to overcome as part of our personal growth journey.
Instead, treat it as a personal creative process. What do I want to create right now? That lights me up? That is unique to me? That nourishes me, mentally, emotionally, physically, or even financially?
Then manage the “discomfort” along the way – treating this as a “re-arranging” of energetic building blocks in your life, and honouring this as a recalibration process of “up-leveling” in some way.
Simply as “you”, rather than, “as a woman”.
While personal growth always takes you out of your comfort zone, this is a much more productive and liberating approach that limits any tendencies to wallow in your emotional intensity or analysis-paralysis and helps you maintain the joy in your life. 🎈🪅