As a highly conscious person, one of the most important mastery practices is BOUNDARIES.
This might sound counter-intuitive, but if your attention is splayed all over the place, such as being a good role model, meeting other people’s needs and expectations, gaining approval, conforming to rules that go against your inner knowing, diluting yourself to fit in with the status quo or avoid push-back, or tip-toeing around certain people or social issues to “keep the peace” – it’s very hard to anchor your spiritual power and embody authentic self-expression that allows for foundational personal growth.
And ESPECIALLY if you are in the public eye or work in some leadership, healing, support and spiritual type role – the popular notion of “serving others” (to the point of being a servant) and “duty” can have you feeling like a doormat for other people’s sh!t and have you feeling very disheartened, frustrated and even a sense of entrapment.
There are many spiritually conscious people in conflict with the whole “service” thing who end up over-giving without the reciprocal value exchange, leaving them feeling more restricted, obligated, and let’s be honest, exhausted.
Many teachings reinforce this idea of serving others first, accepting others unconditionally, having compassion, honouring everyone’s needs, and so forth… these are all great virtues until they take you away from your authentic self-expression, natural soul-level gifts and creative power.
What ends up happening is that we TOLERATE our circumstances or are constantly accommodating for others at the expense of our own needs and self-expression – especially in today’s hyper-reactive society where many people feel like they can’t say anything without someone else getting offended and find themselves constantly back peddling and defending or justifying themselves, to the point they eventually shut up, withdraw OR adjust their message.
Today, we are seeing a polarisation of behaviours that is becoming commonplace – people are either constantly tip-toeing around others to avoid conflict or spewing their unowned shadow (sometimes very publicly) because they refuse to look into their inner world and expect everyone else to take responsibility for it. And this cycle is becoming more amplified in society because we keep reinforcing this dynamic through unhealthy boundaries!
Many people cope with this through either more spiritual practice such as energy healing tools, mindset, or even emotional tools to manage uncomfortable feelings or transmute energy OR non-confrontation, such as keeping “busy” or even just cutting off situations or people.
The problem is, both are a form of avoidance and escapism and don’t address the core issue. And even if you move on from a particular person or dynamic, a new version of that will show up if you don’t address that boundary appropriately.
What is poorly understood in spiritual and personal development is the role of quantum consciousness in your physical experience. The more you expand consciousness, the more impeccable you must become with alignment because essentially you expand EVERYTHING!
Including negative programming, limiting beliefs and your shadow (denied) self.
Which is why unaddressed boundaries become more jarring. And the more you continue to expand your consciousness, the more impact “mundane” boundary discrepancies become.
Addressing boundaries ALWAYS happens at the physical level, with people, via communication and the appropriate action. Understanding the WHY (of the boundary violation) is essential so that you don’t repeat these behaviours and seek the appropriate healing if necessary, especially if you have found yourself in an abusive or highly (covert) manipulative dynamic.
However, I do want to point out a caveat that is popularised in the new age and spiritual development communities – this dysfunctional trend of “spiritual protection” that attempts to cut off “energy vampires” and “negative energies” to create healthy boundaries. This hyperfocus on spiritual protection is a form of spiritual bypassing and in my opinion, a very toxic approach that creates more dysfunction in one’s experience that can have one spiral into fear, paranoia and more withdrawal.
As I wrote in UnSpiritually Spiritual – Getting Real about the Great Awakening, “protection”, which is just staying in your personal sovereignty, always comes down to boundaries. And in today’s quick fix and instant gratification, coupled with toxic positivity, the over-simplification of instant manifestation, wokeism and cancel culture, many relationship dynamics and individual behaviour are becoming more manipulative and dramatic to compete for attention, power and dominance.
But is this even necessary?
When you are anchored in your soul-level gifts, seeking approval from others fades and you become liberated by the need to be accepted by others. But this can only come from addressing boundaries during each step of your conscious evolution – including in business, career, or even how you interact online.
Cultivating boundaries is essentially a practice to cut out “noise” in your life so you can focus on your sovereignty and creative power.
As you step further into alignment with your soul’s creative power, you make necessary adjustments along the way to “weed out” those not aligned to you allowing those who do to gravitate towards you.
See addressing boundaries as part of your creative process to help you get more focussed on what you want to create in your experience.